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Subscribe to RSS FeedSlacky Packs
HoroscopesSlacky Packs
Snarky Charms, Zombie Hell Lip Crackers and more deliciously twisted gags
Author: Catherine Bochte
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Slacky Packs
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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Snarky Charms (Lucky Charms) Weep hard. This is cereal to cry into. Lips smack, talks back.
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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Buggie (Snuggie) Finally. A sack of warm, itchy friends to snuggle up with. They make great pets. Or, do you?
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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Gashi (Kashi cereal) A fountain of pain in every mighty box. Use sparingly.
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ARIES (March 21-April 19) BS Oil (BP Oil) Big Spill Oil shortage. "You'll be sick and driving!"
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TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Kloo bored game (Clue board game) Get one!
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GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Zombie Hell Lip Crackers (Bonnie Bell Lip Smackers) Brains! Gum-smackin' good!
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CANCER (June 22-July 22) Ghoulie Snack Lice Pudding (Kozy Shack Rice Pudding) Cups of spoon stickin' lice & maggot treats. Tuck in your fangs and suck 'em up!
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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Light Bite (Light Brite) Enjoy, Glowing Clown. Comes with a pair of lil' nibbler knee sox in every box.
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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) De-Capper (Clapper) Tired of the rudeness? Claps heads right off!
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) Gore-a-swell (Orajel) A little dab'll do ya. Grow a scary big hand (or foot) to dish out that much-deserved smackdown.
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SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Preparation Ache (Preparation H) Are you sitting down? Give the tube a squeeze and get ready for some thunder down under.
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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Meaty's Ice Cream (Edy's Ice Cream) Frosty, bacon gelato. Pork-flavored and fun.
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